bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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