is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
