You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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