So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
