is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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