The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was CRYING into my vagina
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
