pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
