Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
