the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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