New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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