You work out of a Hotel?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
