I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
