More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
