Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
