Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
