so explain again why im purple
no
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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