we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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