Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize