He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
