I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
love makes seman taste better
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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