Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
