I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
