one might say we're banned from that church
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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