Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
