I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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