it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
