i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
