She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
