Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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