Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We have so much sex to catch up on
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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