Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.