Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.