why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.