Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?