if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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