is wine microwaveable?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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