Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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