but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
