That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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