Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
