Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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