OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize