States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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