he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The chlamydia really affected his face.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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