if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
