When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
