its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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