There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
