she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.