i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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