i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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