repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
