i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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