I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
