i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
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You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
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Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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