How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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