..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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