11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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