I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
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Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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