she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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