So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Operation Purity has been aborted
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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