What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I love having hate sex.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
